A Shot at Love, Rock of Love and Finding True Love

You know, I’m a reality tv junkie. I’m not always proud of this considering what trash is on these shows sometimes. Not only are people crude and violent but they are usually sexually active and the producers of the shows don’t do a whole lot to censor them either. As a grown adult, I feel that I have had good examples of love in my life to distinguish between true Love and this MTV style love. But then again, I cannot completely deny that I am impervious to media either. Sometimes I think about all the kids who grow up in families and don’t know what real love is. I worry that this is the example that they get. That they will grow up thinking that a Shot of Love with Tila Tequilla is really the way to determine who you love and who loves you back.

For those of you who don’t know the premise of the show, Tila is this bi-sexual girl who gets 15 girls and 15 guys in one house and they compete doing different contests to find out which one is Tila’s true love. The ironic thing is that most of these shows (Flavor of Love, Rock of Love & Shot at Love) all are in their 2nd and 3rd seasons. The first “love” didn’t work out.

When I turned off my television set thinking about how skewed this view of love really was – I kept thinking about a very popular verse from 1 Corinthians (13:4-8).

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

So many phrases in this simple few verses contradict these television shows. The whole of these shows is centered around one person. This one person – a celebrity – is looking out for their one true love. It’s funny because the celebrity is never once questioned about whether or not they are really just seeking their own interest (increased fame? just sex? popularity?) or the interest of the others

I think too many times people think of love as a feeling. As a “connection.” That’s what these people keep saying on these shows, “We had a strong connection right from the beginning.” And as the show progresses that connection vocabulary gets replaced with love or it doesn’t. I suppose a lot of us judge possibility for love this way. We meet someone and we’re either attracted to them or not. But how can a talent contest where people dress in skimpy little outfits really determine if the other person can help you be a better person… Can be patient and kind to you… How does a dance contest show you that someone is not seeking their own interests? These contest win more one-on-one time with the celebrity – but what do they do at their alone time? Make out? How does this get to know the person beyond physicality?

If you read Proverbs 31, it talks about how to find a wife. Now taking into account that this was written quite some time ago, some of the prerequisites for finding a good wife are a little out of date – for example being able to ply a spindle or being able to to turn wool and flax into clothing. But the point is that finding someone who is a good wife – or a true love – means that she’s got her stuff together. She’s a hard worker and brings good to her lover (v.12), loves and cares for the poor (v. 20), dignified and respected among others around her (v. 25).

Think about it this way: Isn’t it a bit disconcerting that there must be multiple seasons of a search for “true love”? Don’t these people realize that true love is supposed to last? Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing and expecting different results?

Think about it. How do you define love? Is it more Corinthians style, or MTV style?

Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who loves the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

God is Green

And it’s not easy being green.   Ok, sorry. But did you see the news? The Vatican has officially declared that pollution is a sin. It makes sense.  We (as in all of humanity) were entrusted with the earth and all that was in it to take care of. (Review Genesis for further study.)  It boils down to what we do matters.  Everything.  Right down to the piece of gum you spit out on the ground or the trash that you throw away.  By taking care of our earth, we show respect and thanks to the Creator who made it all.  By taking care of our earth, we take care of one another.  Among the other sins that were officially announced were genetic manipulation: including cloning, stem cell research; drug trafficking and social and economic injustices.

Being more and more interested and wanting to go green, I was excited to see the Vatican itself has taken steps to setting an example with adding solar paneling to produce electricity and hosting some scientific conventions to create a forum for people to talk about what we can do to change.

One thing that’s frustrating is when you have good intentions to “go green” but not sure where to start.  It seems like a really big problem.  But it starts with one action – for example, do you recycle? Check if you have recycle pick up or a drop off location.  You can also subscribe to Cool People Care 5 Minutes of Caring. It has some great environmental suggestions and they’re EASY.  Sometimes the biggest changes can be quite easy.

Conscience, Regret & Forgiveness

Sometimes I hear myself and people around me (and even characters in movies) say something like, “What’s in the past is in the past. I refuse to live my life in regret.” Sometimes I think we use this as an excuse to not let our conscience do it’s job. God built within us, part of Himself that tells us right from wrong. The First Reading from January 11th (that’s when I started writing this post) even talks about it:

This is how we know that we remain in him and he in us,
that he has given us of his Spirit.
Moreover, we have seen and testify
that the Father sent his Son as savior of the world.
Whoever acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God,
God remains in him and he in God.
We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us.

God remains in us. I love the musical, Rent. There is a line from a song in this musical that says, “Forget regret. Or life is yours to miss.” It’s so true that sometimes we are so worried about making a mistake that we miss out on all the joys that life can bring. But what about the other way? When we just ignore our consciences or God’s laws because we’re afraid we’ll miss out or that we don’t want to regret it if we hadn’t.

And then, why is it that when people do something wrong they do not want to feel guilty for it? Now, granted, I’m not saying live your life in deep regret never being able to forgive yourself. No! But instead of turning to God for forgiveness, it seems we have this desire to just explain it away. To say, “it’s in the past now and I cannot do anything about it.”

The beautiful thing is that we don’t have to live in regret. Not because it’s just how we are. Not because we can’t live in regret so we might as well buck up and move on. I am guilty of this. Sometimes I get into this mindset that I don’t need to go to Confession. That I can just say “I’m sorry” and move on. And sometimes we can.

But the true reason that we can be forgiven is because Christ died. Because he offers us the beautiful Sacrament of Reconciliation and forgiveness of your sins, of my sins. It’s sometimes too deep to even grasp. We would all be damned if it weren’t for Jesus’ sacrifice. That should be our true freedom from regret and guilt.